Thursday, December 18, 2008
Drink no wine before it's time....
I have no idea why I wrote that, just a stupid commercial that popped into my head from a bagillion years ago.... I have quite a few things to write about but just do not have the time this second as the boys are getting up soon and the day will start. There is a ton to do around here, the one thing I have noticed since I am no longer officiallly employed, is I let a lot of things go around here. I thought I had a good handle on most of it, but wow lot's of half started things. Mostly paperwork stuff, and laundry needs an ass kicking. Today is the first day I have no appts for me or the boys so I can actually call it a full day of doing stuff. The rest of the week I had to leave early in the morning and didn't get home until mid afternoon, and then bang had to get teh boys from daycare. Well the creatures are stirring.... except the mouse, he is sleeping in today!
Friday, December 12, 2008
Yeah ... today is cookie day... EVERYDAY should be cookie day!
This is my first time participating in Jenn's cookie exchange. I was in a Martha craze a couple of years back and found this recipe, and has been part of my Christmas Cookie boxes ever since. So here are my cookies:
Bull's Eye Cookies
Ingredients
Makes about 7 1/2 dozen cookies
4 cups (8 sticks) unsalted butter, room temperature
1 teaspoon pure vanilla extract
3 cups confectioners' sugar
7 1/2 cups bread flour
1/3 cup Dutch-process cocoa powder
Directions
1 To make black and white dough: Place butter, vanilla, sugar, and flour in the bowl of an electric mixer fitted with the paddle attachment. Mix on medium speed until well-combined. Transfer to a work surface. Divide the dough in half. Return one half to the mixer, and add cocoa powder. Mix until well-combined. Wrap dough in plastic, and store, refrigerated, until ready to use.
2 To assemble the cookies: Place 20 ounces black dough between two 12-by-14-inch pieces of parchment. Roll out to a 7-by-12-inch rectangle, about 1/3-inch thick. Repeat with 20 ounces white dough. Chill both rectangles at least 30 minutes.
3 Place 12 ounces black dough between two 12-by-14-inch pieces of parchment. Roll out to a 4 3/4-by-12-inch rectangle. Repeat with 12 ounces white dough. Chill at least 15 minutes.
4 Place 6 ounces black dough on a clean work surface. Roll into a 12-inch-long log, about 3/4 inch in diameter. Repeat with 6 ounces white dough. Wrap in parchment. Chill at least 15 minutes.
5 Remove top piece of parchment from the smaller black rectangle. Unwrap white log, and place lengthwise on black rectangle. Using bottom piece of parchment for support, wrap black dough around the white log, pressing with fingers to seal seam.
6 Roll log back and forth to smooth seam.
Repeat step five with the black log and the smaller rectangle of white dough.
7 Remove the top piece of parchment from the larger white rectangle. Place white log wrapped in black dough lengthwise on the white rectangle. Using bottom piece of parchment for support, wrap white dough around log, pressing with fingers to seal seam. Roll log back and forth to smooth seam.
8 Repeat step seven with the black log wrapped in white dough and the larger rectangle of black dough. Wrap both logs in parchment. Chill 1 hour.
9 Preheat oven to 375 degrees. Line two baking sheets with parchment. Remove parchment from logs, and cut into 1/4-inch-thick rounds; place on sheets, spaced 2 inches apart.
10 Bake cookies until barely golden, about 15 minutes. Transfer cookies to a wire rack to cool. Bake or freeze remaining dough. Store in an airtight container up to 2 weeks.
It seems like a lot of work, and it might be, but they are great and I got a lot must have recipe requests from this.
The photo is from Martha's page as I did not take photos last year, and haven't made them yet this year. Next week is cookie week for me.
Hope you enjoy them if you try them!
Bull's Eye Cookies
Ingredients
Makes about 7 1/2 dozen cookies
4 cups (8 sticks) unsalted butter, room temperature
1 teaspoon pure vanilla extract
3 cups confectioners' sugar
7 1/2 cups bread flour
1/3 cup Dutch-process cocoa powder
Directions
1 To make black and white dough: Place butter, vanilla, sugar, and flour in the bowl of an electric mixer fitted with the paddle attachment. Mix on medium speed until well-combined. Transfer to a work surface. Divide the dough in half. Return one half to the mixer, and add cocoa powder. Mix until well-combined. Wrap dough in plastic, and store, refrigerated, until ready to use.
2 To assemble the cookies: Place 20 ounces black dough between two 12-by-14-inch pieces of parchment. Roll out to a 7-by-12-inch rectangle, about 1/3-inch thick. Repeat with 20 ounces white dough. Chill both rectangles at least 30 minutes.
3 Place 12 ounces black dough between two 12-by-14-inch pieces of parchment. Roll out to a 4 3/4-by-12-inch rectangle. Repeat with 12 ounces white dough. Chill at least 15 minutes.
4 Place 6 ounces black dough on a clean work surface. Roll into a 12-inch-long log, about 3/4 inch in diameter. Repeat with 6 ounces white dough. Wrap in parchment. Chill at least 15 minutes.
5 Remove top piece of parchment from the smaller black rectangle. Unwrap white log, and place lengthwise on black rectangle. Using bottom piece of parchment for support, wrap black dough around the white log, pressing with fingers to seal seam.
6 Roll log back and forth to smooth seam.
Repeat step five with the black log and the smaller rectangle of white dough.
7 Remove the top piece of parchment from the larger white rectangle. Place white log wrapped in black dough lengthwise on the white rectangle. Using bottom piece of parchment for support, wrap white dough around log, pressing with fingers to seal seam. Roll log back and forth to smooth seam.
8 Repeat step seven with the black log wrapped in white dough and the larger rectangle of black dough. Wrap both logs in parchment. Chill 1 hour.
9 Preheat oven to 375 degrees. Line two baking sheets with parchment. Remove parchment from logs, and cut into 1/4-inch-thick rounds; place on sheets, spaced 2 inches apart.
10 Bake cookies until barely golden, about 15 minutes. Transfer cookies to a wire rack to cool. Bake or freeze remaining dough. Store in an airtight container up to 2 weeks.
It seems like a lot of work, and it might be, but they are great and I got a lot must have recipe requests from this.
The photo is from Martha's page as I did not take photos last year, and haven't made them yet this year. Next week is cookie week for me.
Hope you enjoy them if you try them!
Sunday, November 30, 2008
Annual Cookie Exchange.....
I have decided to participate in the Annual Cookie Exchange, by Jenn. This is the third annual event, and it seems to be pretty successful. Everyone post their favorite cookie recipe on their blog on December 12th. So since we are on a pretty limited budget this year, I think I will be doing my cookies again. I usually pick 4-6 cookies to bake, and include in the package a card with the recipe on the card. The last time I did this the boys were 5 months old, and I put a photo of them on the back. So this year I think I will continue with that tradition of the cookies.
Well that is my post for today... the last day of November, and I posted what 5 times? If that!
Jenn's Journal has all the details of the annual event.
Well that is my post for today... the last day of November, and I posted what 5 times? If that!
Jenn's Journal has all the details of the annual event.
Monday, November 24, 2008
Today is a new day!..
But then again so is every other day. However, I am going to really start focusing on a lot of different areas in my life, to try and pull them all together. It would be great if all aspects of my life worked like a well oiled machine. That is my long term goal, how long I don't know.
I am working in the process of starting my own business, well maybe actually 2, as I think I would be better off financially if I can pull it off. My first business is what I do, and that is be a Virtual Assistant. Working on my business plan and financial plan etc, I still need to sell E on the idea completely. Work on the household budget and sit down with him, and feed him lots of wine before he sees what our financial status really is. He never used to care about the finances, in fact his lack of caring is what got us where we are today. He would drop $80 on a shirt and not think twice about it AND not tell me about it. If the card worked, then I guess we have the money he would think. Several NSF charges later!!.. GRRRR Well now that he is actually working working to provide the money he has done a complete 360. Which is kind of annoying, because he doesn't understand that we have to pay for his past purchases. He was unemployed for close to 6 months, and shopped like a shopaholic on line. He ended up putting together a 150 gal saltwater fish tank. Bottom line on that little venture, around 6k. I had it taken down this past Monday. But he is soooo into the money now it is making me crazy. Just let me handle it like I always have. I am a pretty tight person with money, once in a while I will buy something for myself. Do I ask his permission? No. Did he ask for mine? No. However, I do think we need to set down some ground rules moving forward. If we can get on the same page with the finances I truly believe it will help our marriage, as this is our biggest area of issues. It causes the most fights. I cannot tell him everything right now as his head would explode if he knew how much we really owed. I tried to tell him once, but he just flew off the handle before I could even get the bottom line out... so I backed off and took things into my own hands, and did the creative financing you sometimes need to do in life.
When I met E I was debt free except for a car payment, and now I have the largest amount of debt ever, and 2 small people who need me to provide for them. I used to be sitting pretty financially, now I am at the bottom of the landfill trying to dig my way out.
But I digress.... easy for me to get on tangents... my second business opportunity is to open my own photography business. I think I am pretty good at it, it's the only thing I am truly creative with. If I did both of these business part time, I might be able to make a decent living doing things I like. We shall see how it goes.
Having E on my side would make things a lot easier, he said he thinks I just don't want to work.... *sigh* I have never not worked.. ever.. since I turned 16 I have worked. I was laid off for maybe a year total, with all my jobs. Let's see do the math... 43 - 16 = 27 yrs of working, and only 1 yr off total. I wouldn't know what to do with myself if I didn't work.
So hopefully this is the new day I am hoping for, I am going to push forward with my business plan for the VA business and the financial plan.
I will keep you posted!
I am working in the process of starting my own business, well maybe actually 2, as I think I would be better off financially if I can pull it off. My first business is what I do, and that is be a Virtual Assistant. Working on my business plan and financial plan etc, I still need to sell E on the idea completely. Work on the household budget and sit down with him, and feed him lots of wine before he sees what our financial status really is. He never used to care about the finances, in fact his lack of caring is what got us where we are today. He would drop $80 on a shirt and not think twice about it AND not tell me about it. If the card worked, then I guess we have the money he would think. Several NSF charges later!!.. GRRRR Well now that he is actually working working to provide the money he has done a complete 360. Which is kind of annoying, because he doesn't understand that we have to pay for his past purchases. He was unemployed for close to 6 months, and shopped like a shopaholic on line. He ended up putting together a 150 gal saltwater fish tank. Bottom line on that little venture, around 6k. I had it taken down this past Monday. But he is soooo into the money now it is making me crazy. Just let me handle it like I always have. I am a pretty tight person with money, once in a while I will buy something for myself. Do I ask his permission? No. Did he ask for mine? No. However, I do think we need to set down some ground rules moving forward. If we can get on the same page with the finances I truly believe it will help our marriage, as this is our biggest area of issues. It causes the most fights. I cannot tell him everything right now as his head would explode if he knew how much we really owed. I tried to tell him once, but he just flew off the handle before I could even get the bottom line out... so I backed off and took things into my own hands, and did the creative financing you sometimes need to do in life.
When I met E I was debt free except for a car payment, and now I have the largest amount of debt ever, and 2 small people who need me to provide for them. I used to be sitting pretty financially, now I am at the bottom of the landfill trying to dig my way out.
But I digress.... easy for me to get on tangents... my second business opportunity is to open my own photography business. I think I am pretty good at it, it's the only thing I am truly creative with. If I did both of these business part time, I might be able to make a decent living doing things I like. We shall see how it goes.
Having E on my side would make things a lot easier, he said he thinks I just don't want to work.... *sigh* I have never not worked.. ever.. since I turned 16 I have worked. I was laid off for maybe a year total, with all my jobs. Let's see do the math... 43 - 16 = 27 yrs of working, and only 1 yr off total. I wouldn't know what to do with myself if I didn't work.
So hopefully this is the new day I am hoping for, I am going to push forward with my business plan for the VA business and the financial plan.
I will keep you posted!
Sunday, November 23, 2008
Wow... I really suck at this blogging thing!
So just in case anyone is reading, I apologize. I am sure in a few weeks I will have so much time on my hands I won't know what to do with myself... oh wait... yes I do... S L E E P.!
So I found out this week that my Mariah Carey voice has left the building:
Set the stage: Watching Dora episode "The Little Star". At one point the star falls from the sky and is crying because she wants to go home to her daddy the moon. So Dora decided to cheer her up my singing Twinkle Twinkle Little Start
Mommy: Come on boys... lets sing... *breaks into song*... twinkle twinkle littllllleeee sttaaarrrrr..
B: Mommy No!!!
Mommy: No what B?
B: Mommy no sing.... noooooooooo
Mommy: Well okay then...
Then both A & B begin to harmonize the song.... not a great rendition, but boy it was still cute.
Take away from the moment: I cannot sing, even a 2 yr old knows that!
So I found out this week that my Mariah Carey voice has left the building:
Set the stage: Watching Dora episode "The Little Star". At one point the star falls from the sky and is crying because she wants to go home to her daddy the moon. So Dora decided to cheer her up my singing Twinkle Twinkle Little Start
Mommy: Come on boys... lets sing... *breaks into song*... twinkle twinkle littllllleeee sttaaarrrrr..
B: Mommy No!!!
Mommy: No what B?
B: Mommy no sing.... noooooooooo
Mommy: Well okay then...
Then both A & B begin to harmonize the song.... not a great rendition, but boy it was still cute.
Take away from the moment: I cannot sing, even a 2 yr old knows that!
Friday, November 14, 2008
Wow I guess I am a total slacker...
so much for blogging everyday in the month of Nov.... oh well what can ya do. Both boys have been sick for weeks, as have I. The infamous cough that everyone seems to have has come for a visit, and has decided it liked us so much it is staying. I took the boys to the dr on Weds for them to be looked at, and they put them on antibiotics. I dropped them off at daycare and went to get the prescription filled, went back to the d/c and gave them the meds with the assistance of the teachers. At 4:45 I got a call from the day cares director telling me that I should not have left the boys. They are not running fevers or acting sick, they just have a nasty cough. No one said boo to me about anything, yet this woman felt it was her place to make me feel like I was suppose to know, and as if I were trying to put one over on her. She went on for nearly 10 mins, without saying anything of substance. Only to end the call with how I had to come get them right away, and that they couldn't be there the next day.... thanks for the heads up! I was completely ticked off, and no sooner do I have up with her, then E calls. Catches me at a very frustrated moment, and just pushes the right buttons to make me explode. Instead of just listening to me vent, which I asked him to do, he decided that I was just being over reactive and then proceeds to tell me that he feels I am unstable to go pick the boys up, and that maybe the director picked up on that as well. I hung up on him. I refuse to listen to that psycho babble he dribbles everyday lately. But of course I had to listen to it later in the evening. All I wanted was for him to say something like, I am sorry you had to deal with that... something supportive, instead of always taking the other person's side. Which of course puts me on the complete defensive. I am just getting really tired of being told how everything is my fault... everything... the boys are sick, it is my fault, I am not feeding them properly, the house isn't clean enough so it is going to fall down around us.... I am not feeling well, my own fault for now exercising and eating right... the list goes on and on. Never does he tell me anything good about what I am doing. To be honest I am not sure how much more of this I can take. he wonders why I do not want to talk to him half the time.
I am heading over to the local urgent care in a few minutes as my cough seems to have come back with a vengeance and I am completely exhausted, and achy. I got the flu shot weeks ago, so I am hoping it is not the flu, but as of yesterday I am starting to feel worse. Great with the weekend coming up, and I being the only parent around. This lifestyle is really starting to suck for me. Yet at the same time I don't want him around if all he is going to do is complain about me, the house, the kids etc.... it gets old and tiring....
Well that is it for now, I am sure there are other things to update, but just not up to it right now...
I am heading over to the local urgent care in a few minutes as my cough seems to have come back with a vengeance and I am completely exhausted, and achy. I got the flu shot weeks ago, so I am hoping it is not the flu, but as of yesterday I am starting to feel worse. Great with the weekend coming up, and I being the only parent around. This lifestyle is really starting to suck for me. Yet at the same time I don't want him around if all he is going to do is complain about me, the house, the kids etc.... it gets old and tiring....
Well that is it for now, I am sure there are other things to update, but just not up to it right now...
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
Falling off the wagon...
well I guess I already fell of the posting everyday for a month wagon. Yesterday was a little stressed out with the boys, and by the time I was done I just wanted to go to bed. Left the computer in the home office and crawled into bed.
So today is election day, and I will watching the news most of the day. Except when I am in the dental chair, all looped up. I hate going to the dentist, always have. I guess I can thank my parents for that, as they wouldn't pay for the Novocaine needed when getting cavities filled. First time I ever had it was my first visit to a dentist after I turned 18 and paid for it myself. I never even knew it existed.... man was I pissed!
So let's see where this election takes us! Go Obama!!
So today is election day, and I will watching the news most of the day. Except when I am in the dental chair, all looped up. I hate going to the dentist, always have. I guess I can thank my parents for that, as they wouldn't pay for the Novocaine needed when getting cavities filled. First time I ever had it was my first visit to a dentist after I turned 18 and paid for it myself. I never even knew it existed.... man was I pissed!
So let's see where this election takes us! Go Obama!!
Sunday, November 2, 2008
NaBloPoMo
National Blog Posting Month - "post everyday, it's that simple". Right! Well I am certainly going to try to be a part of this annual event. I might have already missed day one, as I just read about it this morning. So I guess I am one day off... but kind of not my fault.. the dog ate my homework.
Halloween was pretty uneventful this go round, but we did vote, as a family. So that was exciting, the boys loved it and the voting folks just loved them. E was home this week, and wow quite different than last visit home. Completely annoying, complained about everything. It did not matter what it was, he would find something to complain about.
I was suppose to go into the main office all week, as this was the week we were finding out we no longer had a job. Me and 6999 others found out. So it was on a Tuesday, and I went out with another soon to be ex coworker and his wife, went out for lunch. I got home around 4pm, and E was still in bed... yes still in bed. Status Quo when he is home. Anyways, I laid down to take a short nap before having to get the boys from daycare The phone rings and it is daycare, and E comes out with the phone, unanswered mind you. So he shocked to see me home, and tells me to call the day care. I called and they said we have to pick up B early as he wasn't feeling well. I asked E if he would go pick them up since all I wanted was little piece and quiet before they got home. He of course complained how he wasn't dressed etc, and reluctantly said he would do it.
He then comes out with the idea of "how about you come with me?".... genius at work here. I reiterated that I only wanted to take a short nap, and he said.. "I don't want you moping around here about your job".. 1) already knew about the job weeks ago, 2) I just want a nap!!!!. So of course he doesn't let up until I get up and get in the car. I was driving, since it is my car, and he thought I was going too fast, and started screaming at me to stop and let him drive. I said no... I was not driving too fast, and kept driving. He started screaming again, so I slammed on the brakes and stopped he grabbed the key just as I grabbed them, and the ripped the key chain in half hitting myself in the face with my side of it. He jumps out of the car to come around the driver side, and by then I am digging for my extra key and found it, and just took off and left him in the middle of the street. I did eventually go back and get him, which of course caused a huge fight for the night. I only wanted a nap.
So that pretty much set the tone for the week, so I went into the office everyday, even though I did not have to as I just couldn't stand being around it. Of course it would continue at night, but at least it wasn't all day long. He finally left yesterday, and his hard drive on his laptop completely crashed, and because I was doing something he asked me to do, he blames me. It was going to happen on his next shutdown regardless of who was at the helm. Too many p*rn sites I guess!
*sigh* So here I am now on Sunday enjoying the quiet breakfast as the boys watch Disney. Catching up on my reading, and other things I seem to not be allowed to do while he is home. As he seems to think I am lazy. But I digress.
On the job front, as mentioned I got the news. So now I can officially start either looking for other jobs within the company, and also continuing to work on my idea of the Virtual Assistant Business. I switched hosting providers so I kind of have to start over with the website design, but who can argue with free! Not me!
well I guess that is the short and skinny of the most recent updates. I will leave the rest for later as I do need things to blog about each day right??
Well let's see how well I do..... wish me luck!!
Halloween was pretty uneventful this go round, but we did vote, as a family. So that was exciting, the boys loved it and the voting folks just loved them. E was home this week, and wow quite different than last visit home. Completely annoying, complained about everything. It did not matter what it was, he would find something to complain about.
I was suppose to go into the main office all week, as this was the week we were finding out we no longer had a job. Me and 6999 others found out. So it was on a Tuesday, and I went out with another soon to be ex coworker and his wife, went out for lunch. I got home around 4pm, and E was still in bed... yes still in bed. Status Quo when he is home. Anyways, I laid down to take a short nap before having to get the boys from daycare The phone rings and it is daycare, and E comes out with the phone, unanswered mind you. So he shocked to see me home, and tells me to call the day care. I called and they said we have to pick up B early as he wasn't feeling well. I asked E if he would go pick them up since all I wanted was little piece and quiet before they got home. He of course complained how he wasn't dressed etc, and reluctantly said he would do it.
He then comes out with the idea of "how about you come with me?".... genius at work here. I reiterated that I only wanted to take a short nap, and he said.. "I don't want you moping around here about your job".. 1) already knew about the job weeks ago, 2) I just want a nap!!!!. So of course he doesn't let up until I get up and get in the car. I was driving, since it is my car, and he thought I was going too fast, and started screaming at me to stop and let him drive. I said no... I was not driving too fast, and kept driving. He started screaming again, so I slammed on the brakes and stopped he grabbed the key just as I grabbed them, and the ripped the key chain in half hitting myself in the face with my side of it. He jumps out of the car to come around the driver side, and by then I am digging for my extra key and found it, and just took off and left him in the middle of the street. I did eventually go back and get him, which of course caused a huge fight for the night. I only wanted a nap.
So that pretty much set the tone for the week, so I went into the office everyday, even though I did not have to as I just couldn't stand being around it. Of course it would continue at night, but at least it wasn't all day long. He finally left yesterday, and his hard drive on his laptop completely crashed, and because I was doing something he asked me to do, he blames me. It was going to happen on his next shutdown regardless of who was at the helm. Too many p*rn sites I guess!
*sigh* So here I am now on Sunday enjoying the quiet breakfast as the boys watch Disney. Catching up on my reading, and other things I seem to not be allowed to do while he is home. As he seems to think I am lazy. But I digress.
On the job front, as mentioned I got the news. So now I can officially start either looking for other jobs within the company, and also continuing to work on my idea of the Virtual Assistant Business. I switched hosting providers so I kind of have to start over with the website design, but who can argue with free! Not me!
well I guess that is the short and skinny of the most recent updates. I will leave the rest for later as I do need things to blog about each day right??
Well let's see how well I do..... wish me luck!!
Saturday, October 25, 2008
Can I just sleep for the next 7 days??
Why did no one tell me that when you have 2 yr old twins you are never your own person again? I have been sitting down at this computer from 9am this morning, and it is now 5:35pm, and all I have been able to accomplish is half of my homepage for my new website. Now keep in mind, web development, kinda of a no brainer for me. These 2 have just hunted and hunted until they found it... my last nerve that is. I am about to go insane! According to day care they do not whine at all... well here at home... that is all they do.
I am fighting a nasty cold and realized that I can never ever get sick, in any capacity. I cannot get into an accident, or anything that would incapacitated me. Not that I want to have anything bad happen to me, but bad things to happen to good people. I asked the questions of what would happen to the boys, say for example I got into a car wreck on the way home from taking them to day care. E would be thousands of miles away. Who would know to get the boys, and know what to do with them. I would think our most recent nanny who is local could do it, but she isn't mature enough to handle a situation like that. I guess I need to write up an emergency plan, with names and numbers of people to contact. God forbid I get the flu or anything, I guess I need to get my flu shot this coming week in my main office of my company as they are asking we come in ALL week. I live an hour from the office, one of the reason I work from home. I have too much to do to drive in each day.
The reason for the week of hell is that on Tuesday, at 9:30am, I am going to be "walked to the conference room", yes those were on the instructions. And then they will call the VP in CT, and together my boss and he will tell me I am loosing my job... aka fired. But since I already know about, which they don't know that I know. At least that is what I know. So I am not sure exactly how I should react. Do I act sad, mad, disappointed? Make myself cry (tears of joy). I guess I will just play it cool, and tell them it was not unexpected since my boss has be completely disconnected from me for the past 2 months.
Then I realized that because my last day of official work with the company is 1/2 that puts my termination in 2009, vs 2008. If it fell in 2008 they would have to pay me for the unused vacation I have, which happens to be 176 hrs. These guys are slick and haven't missed a thing on how to get rid of 20% of it's workforce as cheapest as possible. I was kind of hoping for the extra days to add to the severance package. But now it looks like I am going to take my PTO, as it is a "use it or lose it" plan. So by my calculations, counting Thanksgiving and Christmas Holidays, my last working day will be 12/3. And trust me I will not work a minute more. I am still trying to figure out the health care stuff. Since my last day is 1/2, and the company will continue to assist with health care by paying "their" portion of Cobra for 2 months. I called to see how much Cobra would cost and it is $1400.00 a month... and no that is not a typo! So health care will definitely be an issue. It is something E and I have not talked about in length yet, as he has not been home for 3 weeks. I am sure we are going to get into it when he gets home.
When I told him about idea to become a Virtual Assistant, he was pretty much on board. Then 2 days later, after many miles of thinking alone I might add, he started to panic over the HC. And he started telling me how I HAD to go out and get another job in corporate America. Which is the last thing I want to do. I have worked for this company for 10 yrs, and I just want some time off. Maybe take some classes, just take the pressure off me in regards to work and projects and reports and conference calls about having conference calls. I am so over the corporate environment. At least with this last group from bowels of the company, there are a lot of bitter people in our group..
A few years ago at my company I worked for a group and the only way I can describe it was we were the cool/fun kids on the playground. We did so many fun things. We got to travel with this group, and we have parties to celebrate good work. The would even give us recognized monetary bonuses. I haven't had a bonus since before the boys were born. It also turns out that my level at the company is the cut off for any incentive bonuses. Everyone above my pay grade get incentive bonuses each year, which can be anywhere from 5k to 20k, who knows. It must be nice, why they have the worker bees not get bonuses, when we are the ones that do all the actual work is beyond me!
Ok I guess I am done my rant, just a lot is going to be happening this week and I am not looking forward to it at all.
I am fighting a nasty cold and realized that I can never ever get sick, in any capacity. I cannot get into an accident, or anything that would incapacitated me. Not that I want to have anything bad happen to me, but bad things to happen to good people. I asked the questions of what would happen to the boys, say for example I got into a car wreck on the way home from taking them to day care. E would be thousands of miles away. Who would know to get the boys, and know what to do with them. I would think our most recent nanny who is local could do it, but she isn't mature enough to handle a situation like that. I guess I need to write up an emergency plan, with names and numbers of people to contact. God forbid I get the flu or anything, I guess I need to get my flu shot this coming week in my main office of my company as they are asking we come in ALL week. I live an hour from the office, one of the reason I work from home. I have too much to do to drive in each day.
The reason for the week of hell is that on Tuesday, at 9:30am, I am going to be "walked to the conference room", yes those were on the instructions. And then they will call the VP in CT, and together my boss and he will tell me I am loosing my job... aka fired. But since I already know about, which they don't know that I know. At least that is what I know. So I am not sure exactly how I should react. Do I act sad, mad, disappointed? Make myself cry (tears of joy). I guess I will just play it cool, and tell them it was not unexpected since my boss has be completely disconnected from me for the past 2 months.
Then I realized that because my last day of official work with the company is 1/2 that puts my termination in 2009, vs 2008. If it fell in 2008 they would have to pay me for the unused vacation I have, which happens to be 176 hrs. These guys are slick and haven't missed a thing on how to get rid of 20% of it's workforce as cheapest as possible. I was kind of hoping for the extra days to add to the severance package. But now it looks like I am going to take my PTO, as it is a "use it or lose it" plan. So by my calculations, counting Thanksgiving and Christmas Holidays, my last working day will be 12/3. And trust me I will not work a minute more. I am still trying to figure out the health care stuff. Since my last day is 1/2, and the company will continue to assist with health care by paying "their" portion of Cobra for 2 months. I called to see how much Cobra would cost and it is $1400.00 a month... and no that is not a typo! So health care will definitely be an issue. It is something E and I have not talked about in length yet, as he has not been home for 3 weeks. I am sure we are going to get into it when he gets home.
When I told him about idea to become a Virtual Assistant, he was pretty much on board. Then 2 days later, after many miles of thinking alone I might add, he started to panic over the HC. And he started telling me how I HAD to go out and get another job in corporate America. Which is the last thing I want to do. I have worked for this company for 10 yrs, and I just want some time off. Maybe take some classes, just take the pressure off me in regards to work and projects and reports and conference calls about having conference calls. I am so over the corporate environment. At least with this last group from bowels of the company, there are a lot of bitter people in our group..
A few years ago at my company I worked for a group and the only way I can describe it was we were the cool/fun kids on the playground. We did so many fun things. We got to travel with this group, and we have parties to celebrate good work. The would even give us recognized monetary bonuses. I haven't had a bonus since before the boys were born. It also turns out that my level at the company is the cut off for any incentive bonuses. Everyone above my pay grade get incentive bonuses each year, which can be anywhere from 5k to 20k, who knows. It must be nice, why they have the worker bees not get bonuses, when we are the ones that do all the actual work is beyond me!
Ok I guess I am done my rant, just a lot is going to be happening this week and I am not looking forward to it at all.
Sunday, October 19, 2008
2 weeks or never.....
It has been another long and exhausting week. I have been meaning to write something but every time I get a moment, 2 little ones come and interrupt. I read another blog regularly, Snickolett, and her story is sad and inspiring at the same time. She and her husband John got married, and 3 weeks after they were married he was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. They had wanted to have children, and decided that they would follow through with that plan regardless of the outcome, as they both new what the outcome would be. They got pregnant and had boy/girl twins in June of 06. John passed away in April 2007, so he never got to see their first birthday, but he did get to enjoy fatherhood to some extent. So now Snickolett is journeying through life as a widowed single mother of twins at very early age. I admire her for that, and even though my situation is at the opposite ends of the spectrum, I find myself relating to her on some levels of the single mom thing. When I start to feel like a single mom, I remember that E will be home in two weeks, vs John who will be home never and I consider myself blessed. Snickolett is an amazing woman and just coming back inter her own, and starting dating again. Her children are amazing and adjusting very well.
On then venture home front things seems pretty good. I printed up some business cards and took myself to the chamber of commerce expo and did a little networking. Folks seemed surprised/confused/interested in what a Virtual Assistant was. I had not yet perfected my 30 second elevator speech, but overall I think I did ok, and have a potential client or 2. I also approached E about the idea, even though I was scared he was going to pop my balloon with the biggest pin he could find, he didn't. In fact we talked quite a bit about marketing and sales, as that is really where is forte lies. I really want him to be a part of this, and feel like it's a team endeavor vs just me trying to make it work. He of course had his reservations and concerns about health care, which I do as well, but I think we can work through that. I called his company to find out how much it would be for their health care, and it will be double based on the information she gave me. But I swear when we were looking at it originally it all seemed the same except for the out of pocket deductible. Mine was 3200, and his was 5000. But based upon what she told me yesterday, it seems completely different from what I remember. But overall he seems enthusiastic about it, and I am willing to do all the work and networking and whatever else it takes to make this work.
On the child side of things, these kids are giving me a mini-nervous breakdown every weekend lately. I was blessed to have someone come and watch them all day yesterday, after I took them for their flu shot that is, but I went to the bookstore and just relaxed and read books for a few hours! It was soooo nice! She is going to come over at least once a month for that kind of day, and I will gladly take it, you do not have to ask me twice for things like that!
So that is the boring up, nothing major happened. I have 1 week left before I am "notified" of my job elimination. Should be an interesting week.
On then venture home front things seems pretty good. I printed up some business cards and took myself to the chamber of commerce expo and did a little networking. Folks seemed surprised/confused/interested in what a Virtual Assistant was. I had not yet perfected my 30 second elevator speech, but overall I think I did ok, and have a potential client or 2. I also approached E about the idea, even though I was scared he was going to pop my balloon with the biggest pin he could find, he didn't. In fact we talked quite a bit about marketing and sales, as that is really where is forte lies. I really want him to be a part of this, and feel like it's a team endeavor vs just me trying to make it work. He of course had his reservations and concerns about health care, which I do as well, but I think we can work through that. I called his company to find out how much it would be for their health care, and it will be double based on the information she gave me. But I swear when we were looking at it originally it all seemed the same except for the out of pocket deductible. Mine was 3200, and his was 5000. But based upon what she told me yesterday, it seems completely different from what I remember. But overall he seems enthusiastic about it, and I am willing to do all the work and networking and whatever else it takes to make this work.
On the child side of things, these kids are giving me a mini-nervous breakdown every weekend lately. I was blessed to have someone come and watch them all day yesterday, after I took them for their flu shot that is, but I went to the bookstore and just relaxed and read books for a few hours! It was soooo nice! She is going to come over at least once a month for that kind of day, and I will gladly take it, you do not have to ask me twice for things like that!
So that is the boring up, nothing major happened. I have 1 week left before I am "notified" of my job elimination. Should be an interesting week.
Saturday, October 11, 2008
All good deeds go unpunished.... right?
I have to say that at one point I really believed that statement, now... not so much. I have done a lot in the past year or so to help folks who are 1) less fortunate than I, or 2) just needed a little help. However, it seems that my good deeds do go punished, as it seems now that in my time of needing a little assistant I am spitting into the wind. There has been one person whom I did assist, and probably the only person that I have done good for, that truly truly appreciated it. Not only was she grateful but she held up her end of the bargain and then some and I will never ever forget that. She reminds that there are other kind folks out there who do honor their word... so "Beppy" if you are reading this... thank you. Thank you for being the little sister I never had, and for taking such good care of me and "our" babies, when no one else did. You are always there for me, and I know you always will be. I wish you were here right now, as I could use the wisdom of someone with the soul the age of "the lady". We love and miss you dearly, please come home soon... and no I am not drinking!
I have learned many lessons over the years, but I cannot seem to learn the one of give unto others.... because lord knows I haven't been given unto by them! Let's just say lessons learned and moving on! Watching out for numero uno, and my little bambinos from here on out... and oh ya ... daddy too!
I have learned many lessons over the years, but I cannot seem to learn the one of give unto others.... because lord knows I haven't been given unto by them! Let's just say lessons learned and moving on! Watching out for numero uno, and my little bambinos from here on out... and oh ya ... daddy too!
Friday, October 10, 2008
Is there anything worse than a sick child....
I picked the boys up at daycare on Weds evening, and B had this grossnesss ooozzzing from his ear. He has tubes in his ears, so I was concerned that the tube fell out. He was pretty cranky the night before, but I thought he was just tired. Turns out he had other issues. So I "swung" into the local Urgent Care to have him checked out. I sat in a room the size of my closest with 2 tired and hungry 2 yr olds, and 1 who was not feeling well. The Dr finally came in, and stuck that light thingamigig in his ear, and said and I quote "You need to take him to a 'real' doctor tomorrow. Get him into his ENT doc, and if they won't take him take him bring him to the emergency room right away". Ummmm... ok... first... "real doctor"... who the heck are you? Some guy they pulled off the street and threw a white coat on? I was not a happy camper when I left, as all I had was a prescription, for a medicine that turns out he didn't need, and instructions to call our ENT. I should have followed my gut and waited until the next day to take him to the "real doc".
I couldn't make an appt at night, so I had to call first thing to make an appt. I reached someone at 8:10am, and they had an opening at 9am. Now please keep in mind they are 30 mins away. I was still in my pj's as were the boys. So I had to throw B in the chair to eat some breakfast, get A dressed and ready for school. Got B dressed when he was done, dressed myself, threw both kids in the car. Drove A to daycare, 10 mins in the opposite direction, then heading off to the "real doc". The RD did nothing much but give me drops for his ears and told me to stop giving him the antibiotics. Then I had stay home with him, and take a day out of work.
E is doing ok on the road, I made sure he had plenty of food when he left on Tuesday. So he should be ok. I need to get more coffee before I start this day.....
I wonder how Starbucks stocks are doing?.....
I couldn't make an appt at night, so I had to call first thing to make an appt. I reached someone at 8:10am, and they had an opening at 9am. Now please keep in mind they are 30 mins away. I was still in my pj's as were the boys. So I had to throw B in the chair to eat some breakfast, get A dressed and ready for school. Got B dressed when he was done, dressed myself, threw both kids in the car. Drove A to daycare, 10 mins in the opposite direction, then heading off to the "real doc". The RD did nothing much but give me drops for his ears and told me to stop giving him the antibiotics. Then I had stay home with him, and take a day out of work.
E is doing ok on the road, I made sure he had plenty of food when he left on Tuesday. So he should be ok. I need to get more coffee before I start this day.....
I wonder how Starbucks stocks are doing?.....
Wednesday, October 8, 2008
A Good Weekend ... overall....
E was home for 5 days, and he left yesterday. I was actually sad to have him go, as we had a pretty decent weekend. Normally he comes home after being gone for so long, and just takes over. Rearranges the kitchen, puts things away that I normally use, moves the knives.... little stupid things. However, this weekend, I did not let any of that bother me. Which is a big step for me, usually I would make a fuss about it, but I just let it go. Not worth fighting over, and I was actually able to get some stuff done having a second set of hands.
My life coach thinks this was a good thing for me to recognize. Which I agree with for the most part. Pick your battles. I didn't get a chance to discuss with her my idea for the future endeavor on the job front, I will save that for next week.
I am moving forward with the plan, even signing up for organizations that can assist with the start up. My "partner" needs to get her butt in gear.. So "J" if you are reading this.... move that butt! ... content content content!.. and call me!!
I am loosing complete motivation with my current job, hard to give it all when you know they don't appreciate you. But I have to keep my standing in order to get my severance, so only 20 days left until "I know".
Clark Howard was just on CNN giving his "guru" advice, and he just said that now with all that is happening in the economy is the best time for entrepreneurs! Sounds good to me! Clark is the man. I do need to figure out what to do with my 401k, if it is even worth anything by the time I leave.
Last night was the first "Moms of Multiples" where I am this term's president. So now I am the president for a local non-profit. Just what I need, more on my plate. But we have a good set of folks to support, and I will definitely reach out to them, I'm not crazy!
Well that is the short update on the past few days, sorry it is not more exciting! Hopefully more exciting to report soon.
My life coach thinks this was a good thing for me to recognize. Which I agree with for the most part. Pick your battles. I didn't get a chance to discuss with her my idea for the future endeavor on the job front, I will save that for next week.
I am moving forward with the plan, even signing up for organizations that can assist with the start up. My "partner" needs to get her butt in gear.. So "J" if you are reading this.... move that butt! ... content content content!.. and call me!!
I am loosing complete motivation with my current job, hard to give it all when you know they don't appreciate you. But I have to keep my standing in order to get my severance, so only 20 days left until "I know".
Clark Howard was just on CNN giving his "guru" advice, and he just said that now with all that is happening in the economy is the best time for entrepreneurs! Sounds good to me! Clark is the man. I do need to figure out what to do with my 401k, if it is even worth anything by the time I leave.
Last night was the first "Moms of Multiples" where I am this term's president. So now I am the president for a local non-profit. Just what I need, more on my plate. But we have a good set of folks to support, and I will definitely reach out to them, I'm not crazy!
Well that is the short update on the past few days, sorry it is not more exciting! Hopefully more exciting to report soon.
Sunday, October 5, 2008
Will I ever sleep again??
No seriously.... will I? E has been home since Thursday morning, and has slept a good 60% of the time he has been here, and I don't mean overall, I mean 60% of the time normal people would be awake he has been sleeping. I have no idea what it is like to get up at 2pm. I don't even think as a young girl in my 20's, after partying all night, did I sleep until 2pm.
I am completely exhausted lately, and I was really hoping for a day to sleep in, and someone else, oh...let's say their father, to give me a break. But alas, a girl can dream can't she?
I have not done any type of mediation at all in weeks, just not sure if the meditation thing is for me. Guess I need to discuss it with my life coach, since I am paying her. I wish I could just let it all go, and relax. But being the only adult in the house, I always have the boys in the back of my mind. What if something happened, like if one fell out of the crib while I was "meditating" and didn't hear him? Not that I would be that far removed from reality, but with music and a guided meditation cd playing, I am pretty sure I wouldn't hear them. They are on the other side of the house from our bedroom. I am sure I will figure something out.
I am still really excited about the prospect of doing something on my own once I am no longer employed by the corporate sector. I am working hard on getting all my ducks in a row, and working on the finances to make sure it can be a success. Need to get the website up and running, but need the content, which will be coming from my partner in crime. She is very good at writing, where I, not so much.
I kept thinking yesterday was Sunday and that today was Monday. I was actually disappointed that it was not, that was a strange feeling. But I just think I am excited about this new venture, and can really only do work on it during the week when the boys are not here. I haven't said anything to E about it yet, as I know his doom and gloom attitude would come through, and he would just put a big old slice in my sail. So until more ground work is done I will be just working through it.
Well back to my second Sunday of the week.... it's just not fair!
I am completely exhausted lately, and I was really hoping for a day to sleep in, and someone else, oh...let's say their father, to give me a break. But alas, a girl can dream can't she?
I have not done any type of mediation at all in weeks, just not sure if the meditation thing is for me. Guess I need to discuss it with my life coach, since I am paying her. I wish I could just let it all go, and relax. But being the only adult in the house, I always have the boys in the back of my mind. What if something happened, like if one fell out of the crib while I was "meditating" and didn't hear him? Not that I would be that far removed from reality, but with music and a guided meditation cd playing, I am pretty sure I wouldn't hear them. They are on the other side of the house from our bedroom. I am sure I will figure something out.
I am still really excited about the prospect of doing something on my own once I am no longer employed by the corporate sector. I am working hard on getting all my ducks in a row, and working on the finances to make sure it can be a success. Need to get the website up and running, but need the content, which will be coming from my partner in crime. She is very good at writing, where I, not so much.
I kept thinking yesterday was Sunday and that today was Monday. I was actually disappointed that it was not, that was a strange feeling. But I just think I am excited about this new venture, and can really only do work on it during the week when the boys are not here. I haven't said anything to E about it yet, as I know his doom and gloom attitude would come through, and he would just put a big old slice in my sail. So until more ground work is done I will be just working through it.
Well back to my second Sunday of the week.... it's just not fair!
Wednesday, October 1, 2008
Who's driving this bus anyways.....
The bus that I am referring to the proverbial bus that I seem to keep getting thrown under. Are the bus drivers job sharing? Since flexible work arrangements seem to be the thing these days, who knows. The reason I ask this is as it seems each day at work brings new enlightenment to the situation of job loss. Yesterday I found out that they are laying me off, yet promoting someone in my group, who does nothing of substance. No offense to her personally, I am sure she is a nice lady and all, but just because you are older than me, does not mean you can come into the company at a lower grade them mind you. And boss me around. Which is pretty much how it has been since she started 6 months ago. And now to know that I am going to be jobless, and she is promoted to my pay grade.... well that was just yet another tire on the bus rolling over me.
So now I am in the "what to do I want to be when I grow up" train of thought. And my best friend since second grade. Okay, technically we didn't meet until later in school, but we found out that we were actually in the same class in 2nd grade, so technically in a subconscious kind of way, I have know her since 2nd grade. But hey, anything over 20 yrs is null and void anyhow, so let's just say it is over 20 yrs. She has also recently lost her job, and is now struggling to find a good paying job. She lives in a different area of the country than I, but we still keep in touch. Well I bumped into this idea, that just seemed to strike a cord with me. Probably sounded more like a violin cord breaking... but a cord none the less. And the idea just seemed so perfect for us, us meaning she and I... I and she.. me and her... frick and frack. The idea is why not try to start a Virtual Assistant business. She and I have both been in the business world for close to 20 yrs, and she has over 18 yrs as an Executive Administrative Assistant. And not just an EAA, but to some pretty high up folks in the business industry. What do I bring to the table, well I have a background in technology. A little of this and a little of that. Project management, Sharepoint Administration, DB administration. I have Six Sigma (Google it) skills, and e-learning development and training in the corporate sector down to a science. Especially virtually. I have been in a virtual support role now for close to 10 yrs. So why not right? With the way the economy is going.. you know straight down... to you know where.... and probably in some cute hand basket or something. I am sure folks are going to want to be cutting back on somethings, but not sacrificing the end product. And we think that is where we would come in, as a team and provide excellent services for those who need it.
I will let you know how this little endeavor pans out. But I am really excited about it. She and I are doing our research on it now, and taking baby step by baby step, I just may be a few skips ahead of her. ;)
E comes home tomorrow he has been gone for almost 3 weeks, it has been a long 3 weeks. One of the boys needs to go to the Dr tomorrow, so I am trying to figure out the whole how one will eat breakfast and one won't. Maybe I will just bring them both to daycare and let them feed them, run an errand up the street and come back and get him after he is done eating??..... still thinking on it. I have cleaned the entire house, and got caught up on all the laundry, hence the fact that my eyes are still open at 10pm. Way past my bed time. That being said... "night night" as the boys would say.
So now I am in the "what to do I want to be when I grow up" train of thought. And my best friend since second grade. Okay, technically we didn't meet until later in school, but we found out that we were actually in the same class in 2nd grade, so technically in a subconscious kind of way, I have know her since 2nd grade. But hey, anything over 20 yrs is null and void anyhow, so let's just say it is over 20 yrs. She has also recently lost her job, and is now struggling to find a good paying job. She lives in a different area of the country than I, but we still keep in touch. Well I bumped into this idea, that just seemed to strike a cord with me. Probably sounded more like a violin cord breaking... but a cord none the less. And the idea just seemed so perfect for us, us meaning she and I... I and she.. me and her... frick and frack. The idea is why not try to start a Virtual Assistant business. She and I have both been in the business world for close to 20 yrs, and she has over 18 yrs as an Executive Administrative Assistant. And not just an EAA, but to some pretty high up folks in the business industry. What do I bring to the table, well I have a background in technology. A little of this and a little of that. Project management, Sharepoint Administration, DB administration. I have Six Sigma (Google it) skills, and e-learning development and training in the corporate sector down to a science. Especially virtually. I have been in a virtual support role now for close to 10 yrs. So why not right? With the way the economy is going.. you know straight down... to you know where.... and probably in some cute hand basket or something. I am sure folks are going to want to be cutting back on somethings, but not sacrificing the end product. And we think that is where we would come in, as a team and provide excellent services for those who need it.
I will let you know how this little endeavor pans out. But I am really excited about it. She and I are doing our research on it now, and taking baby step by baby step, I just may be a few skips ahead of her. ;)
E comes home tomorrow he has been gone for almost 3 weeks, it has been a long 3 weeks. One of the boys needs to go to the Dr tomorrow, so I am trying to figure out the whole how one will eat breakfast and one won't. Maybe I will just bring them both to daycare and let them feed them, run an errand up the street and come back and get him after he is done eating??..... still thinking on it. I have cleaned the entire house, and got caught up on all the laundry, hence the fact that my eyes are still open at 10pm. Way past my bed time. That being said... "night night" as the boys would say.
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
Has anyone seen my patience??.....
Should I put up signs on the street corners, saying "lost: Patience, if found please return to owner". It amazes me how stressful life is without this one little virtue can be. Are any virtues really small? After meeting with the therapist last night, I realized even more how much off track I really am. I feel like I have been run over by a bus, emotionally, mentally and physically. And with work, definitely thrown under a bus there. K (the therapist) was really kind, and did not push me for a lot yesterday, which was good as I had nothing to give. After she left I had to feed the kids, bathe them, and wait for the dog to be done at the groomers. Which means I could not put the boys down until I loaded them up in the car, in their pj's and got the dog and drove back.
We got back around 8:30 (they are normally in bed by 7ish) and as I was entering the house the phone was ringing, and it was E. He was in a complete panic. He was unable to reach me for about 30 mins, since I just flew out the door I did not bring my cell phone. I thought of it on the way back, that I had hoped he didn't try to call, as I know he would panic. Which he did. He always goes to the worst case scenario, like someone broke into the house, and killed us all. He was completely freaked out, and said the next call was going to be 911. A little to the extreme, but I understand, sort of. I promised I would be more diligent about taking my cell phone with me.
Work was pretty busy, as it is quite apparent to me that they want all the projects I work on brought to completion before I leave. Although they have no idea I know, only my closest friends know, it seems funny to me that they are trying to work me to the bone to get it all done. I really do not think they have thought letting me go all the way through. The repercussions on the group is going to be huge. I am the only technical person in our group, and currently I am the go to gal for all tech needs in our group. All of that will end as soon as I come out the back end of the bus that I have been thrown under. It cannot fall upon my coworker as she does not have the skill set, she does a completely different job than what I do. We work great as a team, but individually we have different jobs. This group is in for a big eye opener once I am no longer around to call when things don't work. Oh well.... they took away my company cell phone last month, and I refuse to give them my new one. Not on my dime. If you cannot reach me at my home office, oh well. Leave a message.
Well off I go to work a job, I no longer have.... motivation is in short supply these days, for a lot of things. Still looking for my patience, if you do find it .... please be so kind as to return it.... I think I need it desperately.
We got back around 8:30 (they are normally in bed by 7ish) and as I was entering the house the phone was ringing, and it was E. He was in a complete panic. He was unable to reach me for about 30 mins, since I just flew out the door I did not bring my cell phone. I thought of it on the way back, that I had hoped he didn't try to call, as I know he would panic. Which he did. He always goes to the worst case scenario, like someone broke into the house, and killed us all. He was completely freaked out, and said the next call was going to be 911. A little to the extreme, but I understand, sort of. I promised I would be more diligent about taking my cell phone with me.
Work was pretty busy, as it is quite apparent to me that they want all the projects I work on brought to completion before I leave. Although they have no idea I know, only my closest friends know, it seems funny to me that they are trying to work me to the bone to get it all done. I really do not think they have thought letting me go all the way through. The repercussions on the group is going to be huge. I am the only technical person in our group, and currently I am the go to gal for all tech needs in our group. All of that will end as soon as I come out the back end of the bus that I have been thrown under. It cannot fall upon my coworker as she does not have the skill set, she does a completely different job than what I do. We work great as a team, but individually we have different jobs. This group is in for a big eye opener once I am no longer around to call when things don't work. Oh well.... they took away my company cell phone last month, and I refuse to give them my new one. Not on my dime. If you cannot reach me at my home office, oh well. Leave a message.
Well off I go to work a job, I no longer have.... motivation is in short supply these days, for a lot of things. Still looking for my patience, if you do find it .... please be so kind as to return it.... I think I need it desperately.
Sunday, September 28, 2008
Tomorrow IS another day..... right??
Have you ever had one of those weekends where it is like the movie Ground Hog's Day, where Bill Murray wakes up everyday and it is the same day? Well that is how this weekend was for me. I am completely wiped out. How can 2 small people have such power over someone who is 3 times their height? At least this week's the new shows started, and tonight the Amazing Race starts which I just love. To me it is the primal competition show. If you show up last... you loose. That simple. No one votes you off, there is no real political strategy behind it. You just have to be smarter and faster than the other teams. I always wondered what E and I would be like on that show. Most likely the couple that is always screaming at each other, because they both think they are smarter than the other. But in my case I am. Okay, maybe not at everything.
And then right after is Desperate Housewives. It has been so long I have forgotten how last seasoned ended, hope they have a refresher, as I haven't had time to study. I made a huge pot of New England Corn Chowda this weekend, and it is still going strong. Was a hit with the 2 little ones, and the dog of course, who cleaned the plates when they wanted more than their stomachs would allow.
Well tomorrow is Monday, and I have my "Parent/child intervention Therapy", and I have a lot to discuss with her. I was complete toast this weekend, and had not so much patience with the boys. It was very hard to remember the parent rules when they are smashing each other with the pumpkin pails I got them for Halloween. Not a lot of labeled praise going on this weekend, or descriptive play for that matter. It was tough, and E is not home until Thursday and he of course will come home and go straight to bed, while I get up and business as usual. Finally the PCI Therapist will get to meet E after all this time. It might help her understand why I am so strung out with the boys. E doesn't do much even when he is home. However, he thinks he does. But I have a couple of meetings I am going to attend at night this week so hopefully I will get a break. I am this years president of my Mothers of Multiples club, and the next meeting is my first in the role.
Well I am going to call it a weekend, I would say day, but it was all one realllyyyyyy lonnnngggg day for me. Kicked. My. Ass.
And then right after is Desperate Housewives. It has been so long I have forgotten how last seasoned ended, hope they have a refresher, as I haven't had time to study. I made a huge pot of New England Corn Chowda this weekend, and it is still going strong. Was a hit with the 2 little ones, and the dog of course, who cleaned the plates when they wanted more than their stomachs would allow.
Well tomorrow is Monday, and I have my "Parent/child intervention Therapy", and I have a lot to discuss with her. I was complete toast this weekend, and had not so much patience with the boys. It was very hard to remember the parent rules when they are smashing each other with the pumpkin pails I got them for Halloween. Not a lot of labeled praise going on this weekend, or descriptive play for that matter. It was tough, and E is not home until Thursday and he of course will come home and go straight to bed, while I get up and business as usual. Finally the PCI Therapist will get to meet E after all this time. It might help her understand why I am so strung out with the boys. E doesn't do much even when he is home. However, he thinks he does. But I have a couple of meetings I am going to attend at night this week so hopefully I will get a break. I am this years president of my Mothers of Multiples club, and the next meeting is my first in the role.
Well I am going to call it a weekend, I would say day, but it was all one realllyyyyyy lonnnngggg day for me. Kicked. My. Ass.
Saturday, September 27, 2008
The Debate.....
I am not a usually a political discussionist....(I know it's not a word, but as a kid I made up words... kinda of like comfort food.... it just is what it is). I digress. E is usually the big political talker in our house. He has taught me a lot over the years. How to really listen to the issues, and ask the right questions. How not to pick a party just because your parents did, or it's the cool thing to do (history making or not), and definitely how not to base your party pick on the fact that the current administration is being run by Alfred E Newman from MAD magazine. So I really paid attention to last nights debate, normally I would not watch a political debate by myself, but since E is on the road, I had to. Even if I did have 2 hours of Greys Anatomy season opener to watch! So I saddled up to the bed, and turn on the debate. My only feeling really about the whole thing was "uncomfortable". It felt like a friend had asked me to go with them to visit their smelly old grandpa in an old folks home. Someone I had never met, but out of respect for our elders you had to listen to every stupid story he told in it's entirety. I wanted to just take an ambien and make it all go away. I could hardly focus on Obama's answers as I was still pissed off that I was forced to listen to that stuff for the past few minutes.... it just annoyed the crap out of me!
I am obviously an Obama supporter, not because of history making or anything, that is just a bonus. But because I am about to loose my job because of the stupid mistakes of this current administration and we have the manchurian candidate (google it) in office, and McCain is the next one. Just do as I say kinda of guys, because they cannot think for themselves. And don't even get me started on Palin. That's like putting me on the freakin ticket! Oh wait I probably know more on foreign issues than she does. Just because Alaska borders Russia, does not give you foreign policy experience. That the fact that she would even try to spin that comment into something, shows you she has nothing to offer. I am truly looking forward to the VP debate next Thursday, and the good thing is E will be home for that one! I think I will make a nice dinner for him, and we can relax and enjoy the entertainment. The slaughter of so called intellect.
I am by no means an expert of political issues, but I just cannot see her running this country, because we all know McCain will not live through is first term. And lipstick or no lipstick, she is as qualified as I am.
I am obviously an Obama supporter, not because of history making or anything, that is just a bonus. But because I am about to loose my job because of the stupid mistakes of this current administration and we have the manchurian candidate (google it) in office, and McCain is the next one. Just do as I say kinda of guys, because they cannot think for themselves. And don't even get me started on Palin. That's like putting me on the freakin ticket! Oh wait I probably know more on foreign issues than she does. Just because Alaska borders Russia, does not give you foreign policy experience. That the fact that she would even try to spin that comment into something, shows you she has nothing to offer. I am truly looking forward to the VP debate next Thursday, and the good thing is E will be home for that one! I think I will make a nice dinner for him, and we can relax and enjoy the entertainment. The slaughter of so called intellect.
I am by no means an expert of political issues, but I just cannot see her running this country, because we all know McCain will not live through is first term. And lipstick or no lipstick, she is as qualified as I am.
Thursday, September 25, 2008
Befriend myself, and Accountability
I met with my life coach yesteday morning, and we did not meditate during the session, which is a good thing, since I have hardly done it ever at home alone. I just cannot seem to find the peace and space I need to really relax. With 2 yr old twins, and I being the only adult here, it is a challenge. So we were basically discussing how to get to the place of peace and quiet... besides hiding in my closet, I guess that doesn't count. Her first recommendation is to "befriend myself". Like when you meet someone for the first time and have this spark of a connection, and you think "hey!, I like her and want to get to know her more". Thinking long and hard on how to actually do that. I'll keep ya posted!
The second thing we discussed was accountability. This is a word I am not very comfortable with, as most of my life I have not had to be accountable to anyone but myself. Through foster care and adoption into a family whether the mother was pretty much emotionally absent, and father was a workaholic. So until I was married, for the second time, the thought of being accountable to anyone was pretty foreign to me. I did what I wanted, when I wanted and with who I wanted with no real repercussions. This is not always a good thing. I think you end up making some pretty poor choices as a young adult without the guidance of someone with a little wisdom. I truly thought I knew everything, and didn't need any help. Not that I had any resources to get that help from. My father passed away when I was 23, and that was pretty much it for the "family nucleus". He had some great words of wisdom when he did dole it out, and I look back now and still call upon what little wisdom he did pass down.
One of the biggest problems I do have with E, is accountability. I still do a lot of things as if it were just me. Not all is bad, but there have been a couple of decision that I probably should have talked to E about first, but didn't. I acknowledged those issues with him, and took responsibility for them, it took a while for him to get that out of me, as I was completely defensive, when I truly had no leg(s) to stand on. So now I am being taught to be accountable, first with my life coach. I agreed to email her every morning when I get up, as my goal is to get up as early as I can and get an hour or so in before the boys wake up. This will give me the quiet I need to attempt to mediate. Or so we think, worth a shot.
Soooooo... let this portion of learning begin.... befriend myself and be accountable....
The second thing we discussed was accountability. This is a word I am not very comfortable with, as most of my life I have not had to be accountable to anyone but myself. Through foster care and adoption into a family whether the mother was pretty much emotionally absent, and father was a workaholic. So until I was married, for the second time, the thought of being accountable to anyone was pretty foreign to me. I did what I wanted, when I wanted and with who I wanted with no real repercussions. This is not always a good thing. I think you end up making some pretty poor choices as a young adult without the guidance of someone with a little wisdom. I truly thought I knew everything, and didn't need any help. Not that I had any resources to get that help from. My father passed away when I was 23, and that was pretty much it for the "family nucleus". He had some great words of wisdom when he did dole it out, and I look back now and still call upon what little wisdom he did pass down.
One of the biggest problems I do have with E, is accountability. I still do a lot of things as if it were just me. Not all is bad, but there have been a couple of decision that I probably should have talked to E about first, but didn't. I acknowledged those issues with him, and took responsibility for them, it took a while for him to get that out of me, as I was completely defensive, when I truly had no leg(s) to stand on. So now I am being taught to be accountable, first with my life coach. I agreed to email her every morning when I get up, as my goal is to get up as early as I can and get an hour or so in before the boys wake up. This will give me the quiet I need to attempt to mediate. Or so we think, worth a shot.
Soooooo... let this portion of learning begin.... befriend myself and be accountable....
Monday, September 22, 2008
Youngest Kids in the Room
I took the boys to another twins birthday party, and the mom is in my MOM's club. My boys were the youngest children there, and it was quite confusing keeping track of them. They had a lot of activities for the kids, and most of them were not age appropriate for the boys. Being there alone with the 2 was also challenging. I don't know why I always think I can do these things by myself, but I do try. By the time we got home, it was dinner time and I had no clue what to make for dinner. I remember when I used to complain about the baby food they ate, ahhhh to have those days again. So I decided to make a frittata for dinner, it had potatoes, onions, cheese and broccoli in it. I thought it was great... the boys.... not so much. They managed to pick through the thing and bypass anything that was remotely healthy for them. I guess they think their bodies might reject it or something. So dinner last night was pretty much a bust, and they both woke up this morning wanting to eat. "eat eat" is how they let me know they are hungry. And that is all I heard on the way to daycare today. Thank god they had breakfast waiting on them.
Today was one of those very unproductive days at work, I was waiting for information from everyone else, and no matter how many times I "tickled" them for it, nothing came through. And since my time is limited there, I think I am going to start taking the sick days that I have earned. I have about 10 days left, and I won't get paid for them when I leave so I am going to start taking them. I do have 19 days of vacation they will have to pay me for.
I haven't heard from E today, he is driving his way to NY right now from Chicago. The fact I have not heard from him is a good thing. It means he is not over analyzing things. He does that a lot, which makes me nuts!
The boys had a decent dinner tonight, mac and cheese, not the boxed kind, but the real kind. We had our parent/child therapy today, and I am finding it very challenging to follow the rules, as they have put them out there for me. I usually say "good job" for everything, and was told I need to give more labeled praise. Now that I am aware of it, I say good job, like I am saying hello... I say it all the time! No wonder they could care less when I say it. Learning, learning, learning!
Today was one of those very unproductive days at work, I was waiting for information from everyone else, and no matter how many times I "tickled" them for it, nothing came through. And since my time is limited there, I think I am going to start taking the sick days that I have earned. I have about 10 days left, and I won't get paid for them when I leave so I am going to start taking them. I do have 19 days of vacation they will have to pay me for.
I haven't heard from E today, he is driving his way to NY right now from Chicago. The fact I have not heard from him is a good thing. It means he is not over analyzing things. He does that a lot, which makes me nuts!
The boys had a decent dinner tonight, mac and cheese, not the boxed kind, but the real kind. We had our parent/child therapy today, and I am finding it very challenging to follow the rules, as they have put them out there for me. I usually say "good job" for everything, and was told I need to give more labeled praise. Now that I am aware of it, I say good job, like I am saying hello... I say it all the time! No wonder they could care less when I say it. Learning, learning, learning!
Saturday, September 20, 2008
Where to Begin....?
Well this is my feeble attempt at putting it all down, for me and the rest of the world to see. I have read enough blogs, so I thought maybe it just might help me navigate through the days.
I am currently a full time working (telecommuter) of 2 yr old twin boys. Their birthday was last month, and it kind of came and went. Nothing really special was done as their dad, my husband, is an over the road trucker. He just started this career a few months ago, before that he worked in retail for almost 25 yrs. I think we are both struggling with this new lifestyle. He is gone for up to 3 wks at a time and then only home for a few days. I think I average it out to be 4-6 days a month. The rest is on me. I feel really bad that nothing was done for their day. We have no family here, as we are both from other areas. He the upper west coast, me the upper east coast. Could we be any further apart...
The boys just started daycare a couple of weeks ago, we had in home care up until then. We have been on the waiting list for a year and half, so when they called, we certainly could not say no.
And I just found out this week, that I am losing my job. A job I have had for close to 10 yrs now, and have been working from home for most of that time. I make excellent money for someone who has never been to college, pretty much self taught. It really sucks as I am the major breadwinner right now, and without my salary times are sure to be rough. I still have a few months, the schedule exit dates are 12/12-12/26... Merry Flippin Christmas to me!
So with all that going on, and I am trying to take care of this house and our huge yard, and the dog and 2 kids, and myself.... damn I am tired just reading it. I have had to have a little intervention therapy of sorts. By the time the weekend comes, I am just so strung out that all I do is tell the boys no..no..no... There is entirely too much yelling coming out of me. Mind you I was not raised by yellers, the complete opposite, but that is a post for another day. So I stepped up as the responsible parent I am, and asked for some Parent/Child therapy so that I can actually learn how to be a good communicative parent. Something I was never taught.
As well as that, I decided to start seeing a Life Coach, on the advice of my head dr. That is always comforting when your shrink refers you to someone. But we have met a few times and I think it will be a good adventure for me. We are.. ok I am... struggling with the actions she has given me. We are working on meditation... you know... alone in your head with your own thoughts.... probably not the best thing for me. So I am finding it extremely challenging, and I know it takes time, but I am probably the most impatient person of all time. One reason I was thrilled to have twins, didn't want to have to wait for another one. Ok not like I really had a choice, being of "advanced maternal age" and all...
Well I guess that is best intro I can do for now, I am sure lots of things will come out over time. No need to post them all here at once.. I would bore you to tears!
I am currently a full time working (telecommuter) of 2 yr old twin boys. Their birthday was last month, and it kind of came and went. Nothing really special was done as their dad, my husband, is an over the road trucker. He just started this career a few months ago, before that he worked in retail for almost 25 yrs. I think we are both struggling with this new lifestyle. He is gone for up to 3 wks at a time and then only home for a few days. I think I average it out to be 4-6 days a month. The rest is on me. I feel really bad that nothing was done for their day. We have no family here, as we are both from other areas. He the upper west coast, me the upper east coast. Could we be any further apart...
The boys just started daycare a couple of weeks ago, we had in home care up until then. We have been on the waiting list for a year and half, so when they called, we certainly could not say no.
And I just found out this week, that I am losing my job. A job I have had for close to 10 yrs now, and have been working from home for most of that time. I make excellent money for someone who has never been to college, pretty much self taught. It really sucks as I am the major breadwinner right now, and without my salary times are sure to be rough. I still have a few months, the schedule exit dates are 12/12-12/26... Merry Flippin Christmas to me!
So with all that going on, and I am trying to take care of this house and our huge yard, and the dog and 2 kids, and myself.... damn I am tired just reading it. I have had to have a little intervention therapy of sorts. By the time the weekend comes, I am just so strung out that all I do is tell the boys no..no..no... There is entirely too much yelling coming out of me. Mind you I was not raised by yellers, the complete opposite, but that is a post for another day. So I stepped up as the responsible parent I am, and asked for some Parent/Child therapy so that I can actually learn how to be a good communicative parent. Something I was never taught.
As well as that, I decided to start seeing a Life Coach, on the advice of my head dr. That is always comforting when your shrink refers you to someone. But we have met a few times and I think it will be a good adventure for me. We are.. ok I am... struggling with the actions she has given me. We are working on meditation... you know... alone in your head with your own thoughts.... probably not the best thing for me. So I am finding it extremely challenging, and I know it takes time, but I am probably the most impatient person of all time. One reason I was thrilled to have twins, didn't want to have to wait for another one. Ok not like I really had a choice, being of "advanced maternal age" and all...
Well I guess that is best intro I can do for now, I am sure lots of things will come out over time. No need to post them all here at once.. I would bore you to tears!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)