Annual Cookie Exchange.....

I have decided to participate in the Annual Cookie Exchange, by Jenn. This is the third annual event, and it seems to be pretty successful. Everyone post their favorite cookie recipe on their blog on December 12th. So since we are on a pretty limited budget this year, I think I will be doing my cookies again. I usually pick 4-6 cookies to bake, and include in the package a card with the recipe on the card. The last time I did this the boys were 5 months old, and I put a photo of them on the back. So this year I think I will continue with that tradition of the cookies.

Well that is my post for today... the last day of November, and I posted what 5 times? If that!

Jenn's Journal has all the details of the annual event.

Today is a new day!..

But then again so is every other day. However, I am going to really start focusing on a lot of different areas in my life, to try and pull them all together. It would be great if all aspects of my life worked like a well oiled machine. That is my long term goal, how long I don't know.

I am working in the process of starting my own business, well maybe actually 2, as I think I would be better off financially if I can pull it off. My first business is what I do, and that is be a Virtual Assistant. Working on my business plan and financial plan etc, I still need to sell E on the idea completely. Work on the household budget and sit down with him, and feed him lots of wine before he sees what our financial status really is. He never used to care about the finances, in fact his lack of caring is what got us where we are today. He would drop $80 on a shirt and not think twice about it AND not tell me about it. If the card worked, then I guess we have the money he would think. Several NSF charges later!!.. GRRRR Well now that he is actually working working to provide the money he has done a complete 360. Which is kind of annoying, because he doesn't understand that we have to pay for his past purchases. He was unemployed for close to 6 months, and shopped like a shopaholic on line. He ended up putting together a 150 gal saltwater fish tank. Bottom line on that little venture, around 6k. I had it taken down this past Monday. But he is soooo into the money now it is making me crazy. Just let me handle it like I always have. I am a pretty tight person with money, once in a while I will buy something for myself. Do I ask his permission? No. Did he ask for mine? No. However, I do think we need to set down some ground rules moving forward. If we can get on the same page with the finances I truly believe it will help our marriage, as this is our biggest area of issues. It causes the most fights. I cannot tell him everything right now as his head would explode if he knew how much we really owed. I tried to tell him once, but he just flew off the handle before I could even get the bottom line out... so I backed off and took things into my own hands, and did the creative financing you sometimes need to do in life.

When I met E I was debt free except for a car payment, and now I have the largest amount of debt ever, and 2 small people who need me to provide for them. I used to be sitting pretty financially, now I am at the bottom of the landfill trying to dig my way out.

But I digress.... easy for me to get on tangents... my second business opportunity is to open my own photography business. I think I am pretty good at it, it's the only thing I am truly creative with. If I did both of these business part time, I might be able to make a decent living doing things I like. We shall see how it goes.

Having E on my side would make things a lot easier, he said he thinks I just don't want to work.... *sigh* I have never not worked.. ever.. since I turned 16 I have worked. I was laid off for maybe a year total, with all my jobs. Let's see do the math... 43 - 16 = 27 yrs of working, and only 1 yr off total. I wouldn't know what to do with myself if I didn't work.

So hopefully this is the new day I am hoping for, I am going to push forward with my business plan for the VA business and the financial plan.

I will keep you posted!

Wow... I really suck at this blogging thing!

So just in case anyone is reading, I apologize. I am sure in a few weeks I will have so much time on my hands I won't know what to do with myself... oh wait... yes I do... S L E E P.!

So I found out this week that my Mariah Carey voice has left the building:

Set the stage: Watching Dora episode "The Little Star". At one point the star falls from the sky and is crying because she wants to go home to her daddy the moon. So Dora decided to cheer her up my singing Twinkle Twinkle Little Start

Mommy: Come on boys... lets sing... *breaks into song*... twinkle twinkle littllllleeee sttaaarrrrr..
B: Mommy No!!!
Mommy: No what B?
B: Mommy no sing.... noooooooooo
Mommy: Well okay then...
Then both A & B begin to harmonize the song.... not a great rendition, but boy it was still cute.

Take away from the moment: I cannot sing, even a 2 yr old knows that!

Wow I guess I am a total slacker...

so much for blogging everyday in the month of Nov.... oh well what can ya do. Both boys have been sick for weeks, as have I. The infamous cough that everyone seems to have has come for a visit, and has decided it liked us so much it is staying. I took the boys to the dr on Weds for them to be looked at, and they put them on antibiotics. I dropped them off at daycare and went to get the prescription filled, went back to the d/c and gave them the meds with the assistance of the teachers. At 4:45 I got a call from the day cares director telling me that I should not have left the boys. They are not running fevers or acting sick, they just have a nasty cough. No one said boo to me about anything, yet this woman felt it was her place to make me feel like I was suppose to know, and as if I were trying to put one over on her. She went on for nearly 10 mins, without saying anything of substance. Only to end the call with how I had to come get them right away, and that they couldn't be there the next day.... thanks for the heads up! I was completely ticked off, and no sooner do I have up with her, then E calls. Catches me at a very frustrated moment, and just pushes the right buttons to make me explode. Instead of just listening to me vent, which I asked him to do, he decided that I was just being over reactive and then proceeds to tell me that he feels I am unstable to go pick the boys up, and that maybe the director picked up on that as well. I hung up on him. I refuse to listen to that psycho babble he dribbles everyday lately. But of course I had to listen to it later in the evening. All I wanted was for him to say something like, I am sorry you had to deal with that... something supportive, instead of always taking the other person's side. Which of course puts me on the complete defensive. I am just getting really tired of being told how everything is my fault... everything... the boys are sick, it is my fault, I am not feeding them properly, the house isn't clean enough so it is going to fall down around us.... I am not feeling well, my own fault for now exercising and eating right... the list goes on and on. Never does he tell me anything good about what I am doing. To be honest I am not sure how much more of this I can take. he wonders why I do not want to talk to him half the time.

I am heading over to the local urgent care in a few minutes as my cough seems to have come back with a vengeance and I am completely exhausted, and achy. I got the flu shot weeks ago, so I am hoping it is not the flu, but as of yesterday I am starting to feel worse. Great with the weekend coming up, and I being the only parent around. This lifestyle is really starting to suck for me. Yet at the same time I don't want him around if all he is going to do is complain about me, the house, the kids etc.... it gets old and tiring....

Well that is it for now, I am sure there are other things to update, but just not up to it right now...

Falling off the wagon...

well I guess I already fell of the posting everyday for a month wagon. Yesterday was a little stressed out with the boys, and by the time I was done I just wanted to go to bed. Left the computer in the home office and crawled into bed.

So today is election day, and I will watching the news most of the day. Except when I am in the dental chair, all looped up. I hate going to the dentist, always have. I guess I can thank my parents for that, as they wouldn't pay for the Novocaine needed when getting cavities filled. First time I ever had it was my first visit to a dentist after I turned 18 and paid for it myself. I never even knew it existed.... man was I pissed!

So let's see where this election takes us! Go Obama!!

NaBloPoMo

National Blog Posting Month - "post everyday, it's that simple". Right! Well I am certainly going to try to be a part of this annual event. I might have already missed day one, as I just read about it this morning. So I guess I am one day off... but kind of not my fault.. the dog ate my homework.

Halloween was pretty uneventful this go round, but we did vote, as a family. So that was exciting, the boys loved it and the voting folks just loved them. E was home this week, and wow quite different than last visit home. Completely annoying, complained about everything. It did not matter what it was, he would find something to complain about.

I was suppose to go into the main office all week, as this was the week we were finding out we no longer had a job. Me and 6999 others found out. So it was on a Tuesday, and I went out with another soon to be ex coworker and his wife, went out for lunch. I got home around 4pm, and E was still in bed... yes still in bed. Status Quo when he is home. Anyways, I laid down to take a short nap before having to get the boys from daycare The phone rings and it is daycare, and E comes out with the phone, unanswered mind you. So he shocked to see me home, and tells me to call the day care. I called and they said we have to pick up B early as he wasn't feeling well. I asked E if he would go pick them up since all I wanted was little piece and quiet before they got home. He of course complained how he wasn't dressed etc, and reluctantly said he would do it.

He then comes out with the idea of "how about you come with me?".... genius at work here. I reiterated that I only wanted to take a short nap, and he said.. "I don't want you moping around here about your job".. 1) already knew about the job weeks ago, 2) I just want a nap!!!!. So of course he doesn't let up until I get up and get in the car. I was driving, since it is my car, and he thought I was going too fast, and started screaming at me to stop and let him drive. I said no... I was not driving too fast, and kept driving. He started screaming again, so I slammed on the brakes and stopped he grabbed the key just as I grabbed them, and the ripped the key chain in half hitting myself in the face with my side of it. He jumps out of the car to come around the driver side, and by then I am digging for my extra key and found it, and just took off and left him in the middle of the street. I did eventually go back and get him, which of course caused a huge fight for the night. I only wanted a nap.

So that pretty much set the tone for the week, so I went into the office everyday, even though I did not have to as I just couldn't stand being around it. Of course it would continue at night, but at least it wasn't all day long. He finally left yesterday, and his hard drive on his laptop completely crashed, and because I was doing something he asked me to do, he blames me. It was going to happen on his next shutdown regardless of who was at the helm. Too many p*rn sites I guess!

*sigh* So here I am now on Sunday enjoying the quiet breakfast as the boys watch Disney. Catching up on my reading, and other things I seem to not be allowed to do while he is home. As he seems to think I am lazy. But I digress.

On the job front, as mentioned I got the news. So now I can officially start either looking for other jobs within the company, and also continuing to work on my idea of the Virtual Assistant Business. I switched hosting providers so I kind of have to start over with the website design, but who can argue with free! Not me!

well I guess that is the short and skinny of the most recent updates. I will leave the rest for later as I do need things to blog about each day right??

Well let's see how well I do..... wish me luck!!